So, the whole world and their boyfriend are off to the cinema this weekend to watch the romantic film of the year, the wonderfully erotic and totally realistic Fifty Shades of Grey.
Well, except that all the boyfriends will be cringing into their seats and only watching to see if Dakota Johnson gets her kit off. Whatever floats your boat I suppose, but I'm really not impressed by the whole idea, having been even less impressed by the books. I've seen some of the critics reviews and they've been lukewarm to say the least; for a book that was all about sex, there's actually very little sex in it!
Forget the books for a while, and their terrible dialogue and repetition, OK, so I'm not a fan...but since the release of the film has been getting closer, more people have been voicing their opinions on the story itself. Marketed very much as a romance, there are so many memes on Facebook and Twitter about women wanting a Christian Grey. Good luck to you, if you want an abusive relationship, girls, this fantasy figure sounds like an abusive creep to me. It's not just because he likes a bit of spanking and the odd nipple clamp. It's the fact that he stalks a complete stranger, tells her who she is allowed to see and makes her sign a contract that pretty much gives him complete control over her life.
He even tells her she has to eat, work out, go on the pill and get eight hours sleep every night, be available whenever he needs her and for whatever he wants, and can only get out of the contract if he says so, although he can dump her whenever he feels like it. How freaking romantic is that? Ugh.
The BDSM community are understandably pissed off that they are being portrayed as control freaks and sadists, stalkers and arrogant sex pests that advocate rape (she tells him to stop, he carries on and she enjoys it in the end, after a bit of persuasion, and after one encounter she says she feels abused? Sexy!)
Of course, Anastasia the female ingénue is stereotypically waif like but that's really not my issue with 50 Shades. It's the way women have jumped so whole heartedly on the bandwagon for the film and books, thinking it’s all a bit of naughty fun. If you want some sexy stories, read some Anais Nin, and I think we all know how easy it is to see people having sex online....or if it's Jamie Dorman you want to letch over, which isn't a bad thing, get another film out on Netflix. He spends most of the film with his trousers on anyway.
On a positive note though and a completely different subject, did any of you catch Whitney Fat girl dancing on TLC this week? I usually avoid anything on TLC about fat people like the plague but I saw Whitney on breakfast TV last week and she seemed so lovely I just wanted to watch. I was glad I did, it was a really positive show, mostly. She comes across as happy and vibrant, full of life, and has such a gorgeous smile. The only down part was when she was abused in public by complete strangers for being fat, but she took it in her stride. Definitely worth watching if you're in on a Tuesday night!
So will you be going to see Fifty Shades? I'd love to know what you think of it if you do, if you think it’s all harmless fantasy or a yucky story about an abusive man and naive young girl...
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