Too tall for cool?

If you’re a plus size woman, I bet you’re already sick to death with rules about what you can and can’t wear. No horizontal stripes, no loud patterns, don’t show your arms, wear boot cut jeans to ‘balance’ your hips….yada yada yada.

Can you imagine what it’s like being tall as well? The stripe rule is great fun – if you’re fat you can’t wear horizontal stripes, but they tell you not to wear vertical stripes when you’re tall, so are you supposed to wear vertical stripes if you’re tall AND plus size to make you look slimmer? Is that how it works? But won’t that make you look taller instead? And either way, if you ARE tall and fat, why not just BE tall and fat instead of try and use optical illusions that don’t actually fool anyone to try and make yourself look like something you’re not?

Another rule I hate is the shoe rule. Why do these stuck up fashion bloggers always assume that tall girls want to wear flats, especially when we’re out with men? I love my heels, and lady, if they are going to make designer heels up to a size nine; I am damn well going to wear them. It’s bloody well hard enough to get decent girly heels above a size 7, so when I find a pair, those beauties are going on my feet and I’m going to parade around in them like a slightly taller Carrie Bradshaw and hope that EVERYONE sees them. If a man (or a woman, for that matter) can’t deal with the fact that I’m tall, they are probably way too insecure and would probably find something else to stress about if I wore ballet pumps. I don’t wear heels all the time – I’m not built for it any more – but when I go out, I love the fact I look sophisticated and ‘statuesque’. That’s a great word. I OWN that word.

Admittedly, I love wearing chunky accessories and jewellery, but that’s because I love it, not because the gurus tell me that I should. I love wearing a big necklace with a lovely plain dress or top to give it a bit of oomph. Belts look good on me too, the wider the better, they give my figure more definition and are great when I find a gorgeous patterned top, but it’s a bit, y’know shapeless. Hats are great too. Even if they draw attention to how tall I am, and add a bit more height, they look fantastic. I love standing out, when you’re tall and plus size, blending in isn’t really an option.

I can never remember whether we’re supposed to wear loud patterns or not, I suspect they are another no-no for tall girls. Probably because it’s hard not to be noticed in a funky bright patterned top or a bit of animal print! Sod that. I love animal print and I love tribal prints. Anything a little bit unusual is going to get my attention and I can’t resist all the colours that DON’T blend into the background.

I’m a pretty hopeless shrinking violet, really, aren’t I? But it’s like I said in my post about metamorphosis, for years I studied magazines and books telling me how to dress as a fat girl, and how to dress as a tall girl, and the rules just got so confusing that I had no confidence. Eventually, I came out of my shell and decided that I would wear what made me feel fabulous, what I thought looked good on me, and everyone else could jog right on.

What’s your favourite tall rule to break? Or do you prefer to follow the fashion rules? Tell me, tell me!

Ex

#tootallforcool #tallbird #longtallsally

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