Question time...What is it REALLY like being a fat girl?
March 21, 2014
What’s it REALLY like being a fat girl?
I saw this on another blog recently and I thought it would be something that might get us all talking. I really, really want to get your feedback on this, because, as a fat bird, and a confident, sassy one at that, it’s a subject that’s really close to my heart. So, here are my answers – are you brave enough to share yours?
How do you feel when other women around you complain about feeling/being fat?
I want to shake them. If they are actually fat, it’s bad enough. It pisses me off that so many women use the word ‘fat’ as a stick to beat themselves up with. As if every damn good thing about them is negated by the fact they wear plus size clothes. I usually change the subject.If it’s a slim woman, I roll my eyes and change the subject. I’m not about to get into an “I’m fatter than you” argument. I’m just sick of the whole body hate thing, to be quite honest.
How has your body image changed since school?
Difficult one – I wasn’t fat at school. I didn’t think of it much although I was convinced all the other girls were waaaay prettier than me, like most teenage girls. I never really grew out of that until I was older. Now I’m in my late 20s, I’ve been through the diet mill and escaped out the other side thinking “WTF?” I look at myself in the mirror, all size 20 of me, and I see a confident, attractive woman who knows how to rock red lippy and heels, and doesn’t have any trouble pulling men, thank you very much. So I don’t compare myself to other women any more. I like me.
Have you tried dieting? What happened?
Of course. What happened? I lost a bit of weight; I put a bit more back on. Several times. You know what they say – the definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting it to turn out differently. F*ck that. I decided that for my health and my sanity, I was going to just have to ditch diets and be happy in my skin.
Do you think in your case your weight is partly or entirely genetic?
Does it even matter? Yeah, I like eating. Especially anything covered in chocolate. I like a drink. Am I predisposed to a fat arse? Yeah, probably. But at the end of the day, why is it OK to be fat if it’s ‘in your genes’ and not just in your jeans? I am what I am.
Do you consider yourself healthy?Have there been instances where people assumed you were unhealthy?
Not on most Sunday mornings…but seriously, I’m probably no more unhealthy than the majority of people. And you know what; it’s nobody else’s business, anyway. You can’t tell how healthy I am from looking at me, just as you can’t tell anything about a slim woman just by looking at her, except how slim she is. People who trot out that boring cliché about my health know zero about it, and care even less. They are just offended by my size, how I look to them, and afraid that they might end up fat like me if they don’t watch what they eat. That’s THEIR issue and not mine.It goes without saying; mentally, I’m MUCH healthier without diets and body hate.
How do you think retailers can improve clothes for plus-size people?
Design clothes FOR fat people, and stop just adding a few extra sizes to clothes designed for standard sized women. It’s harder to design for women with fat bits, because we’re all fat in different places. Designers like Michelle from FatPhrocks really get it – she designs for fat women (and women who are tall at the same time, you wanna try buying for that demographic on the high street) and exclusively for us. There’s no ‘well, we’d better add this dress in up to a size 22 even if it doesn’t fit properly.
’Do you think plus-size women are judged differently than plus-sized men are? How?
Yeah, although it’s changing, and not for the better. Men can get away with being big if they are successful. They achieve, they do. Women, even the clever, talented, successful and famous women, are STILL judged on their weight. Adele isn’t just Adele, she’s ‘plus sized singer Adele’. Any weight gain or loss on a female in the spotlight is treated like a big issue. Just check out interviews with celebs – if they are interviewed over a meal, the food the woman eats is normally the first thing that’s mentioned. Who gives an actual shit about whether Angelina Jolie ate all her sandwich? Nobody would comment on Brad’s eating habits. Newspaper headlines about obesity are always focussed on women. Even though statistically more men are fat than women. It’s pathetic.
Do you think there’s an assumption made/stereotype that exists about plus-size people? How would you respond to it?
I almost fell off my chair at that one! Fat people, stereotyped? Never. How about that assumption that we’re unhealthy? That we sit eating doughnuts and pies all day long and never move off the sofa except to get more food? That we’re lazy? We’re greedy? We’re a bit stupid? We’re morally not quite as good as slim people? That we have no willpower? Or my personal favourite – we’re smelly?I respond to all these assumptions with this:
"Darling I never step on the scale, because the scale doesn't measure sexy!"
What are the worst things people have said to you about your body?
I think I’m quite lucky – I haven’t been on the receiving end of many insults. It might be because I give of an air of “Don’t give a damn, darling” and generally I’m pretty confident in myself. I don’t dress to hide my flaws, I dress in clothes I love, clothes that make me feel good and I refuse to apologise for myself. If people do insult me, I just don’t notice.
Do you find yourself hanging out with women who are closer to your size?
Nope. I’ve got friends who are plus size and I’ve got mates who are slim, and I don’t give a crap about how big they are. I don’t feel threatened by hanging out with slimmer girls, the only time they piss me off is if they start wittering about diets, but most of my girly mates know better than to start a conversation about weight, diets and fat with me by now!
How has your weight affected your sex life, if at all?
Oh honey, not at all. There are plenty of guys out there who value a woman for more than her body size, and find bigger women just as sexy as slim ones. I refuse to be apologetic for my size with a man, too. I wear sexy lingerie if I’m on a promise, and I work it. I figure that by the time I’m about to get down and dirty with a man, he likes me enough not to freak out when he realises there’s squidgy bits under my jeans.
When you’ve been single, has your weight affected your dating life?
In real life, nah, not really. Most of the men I date have been friends first and so it’s not been an issue. I’ve experimented with dating sites once or twice and been asked whether I’m ‘really big’…as if there’s a cut-off point somewhere. I can’t pretend it doesn’t get me down sometimes. Just as bad are the chubby chasers who go on and on about how much they fancy fat women, exclusively. That makes me feel uncomfortable. I’m not into being someone’s fetish, thank you very much. If I had a fiver for every time a near stranger had asked me to send him a pic of my boobs, I’d be able to quit my job tomorrow.
So – have any of those questions made you think? What’s your experience of being a fat girl, plus sized, whatever you want to call it? Let me know here, or on our Facebook page, where I’ll be posting the questions up for people to answer over the next couple of weeks.